Mithmeoi

This is a story I never finished but I still keep the beginning just for nostalgic reasons. I wrote it back in 2005. Neither of the sequels were out at the time so I had no clue what Bootstrap was like and this is kind of how I pictured him…I kind of wish I had wrote more.

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I was floating in a sea of…well…water to be exact.  Hmmm maybe sea isn’t such a good word to use, as it was more of an ocean, but sea sounds better so we’ll stick with that.  So whenever I say sea I really mean ocean.  Got it?  Good.  Moving on.

You’re probably wondering how I came to be floating in the sea of ocean…er water.  Well, it all began…oh…about three to four years ago; I was by that crate over there, minding me own business mind you, when out of nowhere a conversation assaulted me ears.  Now please keep in mind that old Bootstrap would never ever listen in on a conversation…I prefer to eavesdrop instead.

I stooped down to where the little window was.  Ya see I was up on the…upper deck, yeah well where else would be the up be?  I couldn’t be up on the lower deck now could I?  So I was up on the upper deck and they…they was down on the lower deck.  Low on the lower deck just doesn’t sound right.

Now this conversation had a wee bit of mutiny stamped on it.  That Barbossa fellow, nasty guy if I may say.  He should really needs to improve his appearance, like see a dentist sometime or a manicurist or maybe both…course seein’ any type of person endin’ in “ist” would improve his appearance.  Well, he was hissin’ about some sort of way to get rid of the Cap, so being the brilliant feller I am I decided to drop in, but only after the planks supporting me gave way.

Needless to say they were most annoyed at my intrusion, but how was I supposed to know them planks was rotten?

I told them I only ‘eard a bit of Barb’s long-winded speech, but they told me I was lyin’.  Personally I think lyin’s a rather harsh word…and prefer to call it omittin’ certain truths.

So after they had thoroughly interrogated me they figured hey let’s tie this sucker up so he can’t warn the Cap.  They beamed me over the head with a beam thingy and tied me poor bruised and battered body to one of the beams, one they didn’t use on me of course.  Dang now that’s a little redundant ain’t it now?

Right now you’re probably thinkin’, “Now why would they be wantin’ to mutiny?”

I’ll tell ye…gold that’s why.  But it weren’t just any old ordinary gold ye’d find layin’ around in some fancy King’s treasury, not that I’ve ever robbed a king or anything so yeah I wouldn’t know…really.  Well it wasn’t ordinary treasure.   Twas cursed!  Yep ye heard me right, cursed.  Course we didn’t know that at the time.

So while they was dumping poor Cap on a remote and deserted island I was watching them little birdies fly around me head.  I think they was parrots.  I awoke to the feelin’ of someone tugging at me boots. *  It was some of me shipmates, but they was strapping cannonballs to me bootstraps.  Ole Bootstrap’s bootstraps became his undoing.  It’s sad really.  So Barbossa said a few partin’ words, most of which were four lettered, then dumped me overboard to join Davey Jones in ‘is locker.

Funny ‘ow these things work though, cause just a bit after they realized they needed me blood to lift the curse.  Permit me a cruel chuckle, *chucklechucklechuckle*, ironic ain’t it?

There I was tied…er chained would be the better word, to two rather large heavy metal objects speeding through the sea of ocean to me watery grave.  Or so I thought until I ran out of air.  Small problem there, until I realized I didn’t need air.  I felt a wee bit silly in front of the puffer fish that was watching me.  Oh yeah and the shark, he looked rather put out.  I can’t fathom why.