The Day it Flooded

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Dawn of hump day… I ascend the death stair.
It was calm and peaceful I began to prepare the frozen discs some refer to as “waffles” for the elderly entity that resides on the upper level.

When, suddenly, a distressed cry “IT’S EVERYWHERE”.
I dishearteningly glance at the heating device warming the bready discs… it’s going to be one of those mornings…
I dash to the door to find the elderly attempting to escape the confines of the room of resting. She continues her cry “IT’S EVERYWHERE”. I look around her slightly confused, she points to the porcelain throne.

Then I see it as it comes rolling towards the door…
The wave of peepee water.
I shudder.
It hits the carpet.
I try to calm the elderly. I tell her to stay on her island of bathmat as I dash away for reinforcements.

Sgt mop and Lt bucket have arrived!
Escorted to safety, she’s still in shock and she points to the source of the water saying, “it’s still coming!” as I attempt to navigate the rugs in hopes to not step in the contaminated waters.

As mop and bucket cut a path through the bacteria infested waters, I reach the plunger. Liquid continues to cascade down the sides of the throne as I stuff the plunger into the bowl. I give it two swift pumps and hear a large gulp as the water starts to subside. I look at the soppy rugs and carpet. Liquid had started to run down the heating vent. Finally the crisis has ended… but at what cost?

As the clean up efforts begin I hear the cry of a manthing in the distance. “What’s going on up there? The ceiling is leaking!!”
I grimace.
I swiftly make my way down the death stair to be greeted by a baffled robed being. He points to the ceiling by the heat vent and relays that it was dripping on his person while he was ruling his lower level kingdom.
I attempt to stifle a laugh.
Then inform him that he has been hit by the peepee water.
He recoils in disgust.

After the initial horror, he calms himself and together we collect the rugs from the lower level kingdom and prepare them for the cleansing, as he too also prepares for cleansing.

I return to my post upstairs and continue to decontaminate the flooring and remove the rug islands for their journey to the wash. I survey the freshly cleansed room as I continue to stomp the liquid out of the carpet near the door with a towel.

It was a close call… but everyone made it out.

The flood has stopped, the clean up complete. The world is in balance once again.